watch this please
I was watching Untold Stories of the ER and this guy comes in with a camper stove stuck to his penis because his girlfriend was like “lol stick your penis in that hole there and I’ll get under the stove and give you oral sex” and while this was happening mom was like “lol weenie roast” and I couldn’t stop laughing and this is why I basically shouldn’t be a doctor
Last year, 22-time Emmy award-winning reporter John Stofflet posted this news video he created for KING-TV in 2004, featuring Paul Smith and his artistic talents.
no i dont want to be a billionaire to live a lavish lifestyle i want to be a billionaire to be financially secure and have enough money to give people things and support charities and fund kickstarters and leave hundred dollar tips
I hear that one song from Jurassic Park on tv and now I can’t stop thinking about this
tips against envy for other artists?
- you are your own artist
- nobody can do the shit that you do
- you have no competition. art isn’t a competition
- don’t compare yourself to anyone else.
- don’t strive to be better than anyone else.
- strive to be better than YOU are now
I wanna make these hattifatteners as soon as I find some of my white yarn
So today at work, I had to peel the parsnips for the spicy vegetable soup and no that is not a euphemism. And I peeled them all dutifully, and lined a few up and… They look like fucking hattifatteners.
(A/N from Wikipedia: The Hattifatteners are tall, thin, ghost-like creatures, resembling long white socks. They have round neckless heads with two round eyes. Below their heads on either side are four or five finger-like projections that resemble hands. They are silent and serious, having neither the ability to talk nor to hear, but in contrast, their sense of feeling is extremely acute, and they can sense even the most minor tremblings of the ground. They communicate seemingly by telepathy, and their eyes change colour with the sky. They also seem to be melancholic characters. However, despite physiologically resembling animals, Hattifatteners grow from seeds. Planting Hattifattener seeds where someone has taken up residence is an effective way to get rid of him or her.
Hattifatteners travel the sea in small boats, meeting every year on a lonely island. Their main interest is in the weather and they collectively own a barometer. They seem to have an interest in lightning storms, and such conditions electrify them making them give out a pale glow, and making them dangerous to touch.)
But no seriously. I had to stop and take photos and when I had to put them through the slicer I felt like a monster, pushing their family though a cylinder into the slicer/grater of death/doom.
I expressed this self loathing, guilt and regret and my colleague told me, and I quote “this is why you shouldn’t have bonded with them!” So apparently I bonded with the parsnips today and that is not a euphemism either.
Also, I want a Night Vale/Moomins crossover where Cecil and the hattifatteners bond over/discuss “the weather” and/or the Glow Cloud. I may write it myself.